Religion stopped making sense to me ever since I started reflecting and pondering on the purpose of religious rituals.

I am standing for prayers behind the priest but my mind is elsewhere. In a large group doing what is called "a congregational prayer"- standing, bending, sitting, prostrating as per the call in front, just like performing a military drill and I ponder, is prayer the thought in mind or movement of the body?

I had heard of obligatory pilgrimage. This too was a question in my mind, if God is the creator of the Universe and is Omniscient, Omnipotent, sees everything and is everywhere, how could some geographical location be stipulated as HOLY and the place crowded with people pushing each other be a Holy act?

To take up such a pilgrimage, substantial cost is involved and therefore one has to allocate a financial budget and save money. For a truly religious person, this may never be possible. Besides, in India and many other countries, there is a wide disparity between 'Have' and the 'Have not's. How can anyone ignore the needs of living humans and consider visiting a non-living structure or monument as divine?

During my reflective adolescent years, I use to share such predicament with religious elders and they seem to spontaneously agree that kind deeds are like performing the Pilgrimage itself.

Thus by questioning, the answers came and validated my stance.

The next thing that didn't make sense was the "Fixed Time Prayers." upon referring the Scripture, the message from its verses clearly implied being PRAYERFUL at all times. And to pray, one has to have the need and intention to pray. For a true believer, this would certainly be at all times for God is needed every moment and in every breath.

Upon regular reflection of the verses in the Holy Scripture, the crux of the message was to ponder on the purpose of Creation. And to realise this truth, one must FIRST LEARN TO REJECT THE FALSE.

An incident happened that led to clearly realise THE FALSE.

During January 2007, I was amidst close relative marriage function in Chennai. A seventeen years old shy girl from Gujarat was among the guests of this family. There was a sudden change in the behaviour of this girl in the middle of these functions. The teenager, who otherwise was very timid, became extremely aggressive, violent and started blabbering abusive nonsense.

As a close relative, I got involved in helping the family and referred the girl to a psychiatrist. In the process, out of curiosity, I

read a book on Abnormal Psychology, where this issue was termed 'Schizophrenia', - a psychotic disorder defined as "absence of reality in a UNCONSCIOUS state."

The moment I pondered over this term, it dawned on me almost like a flash, yet another psychotic disorder! and this "disorder" has affected great many people of this world and is "the ORDER" in the society.

Yes, I am referring to RELIGION as a Psychotic Disorder for here people do things which are like ABSENCE OF REALITY IN A CONSCIOUS STATE - a mindless practice of rituals and traditions carried down from their ancestors.

Why is Religion Psychotic? Religion is psychotic, for instead of harmony, the difference in religious practices is promotes disharmony - dividing people and becoming the cause of killing and war.

An individual with a psychotic disorder is called schizophrenic, whereas a community of people with this mental disorder is called 'Religion.'

Religion has come into existence by people who lack belief in God as an inseparable part of them.

The disbelief instilled fear and scarcity mentality in them, to hide which, they organized themselves with a boundary defined 'Order' to feel secure socially.

To hide hypocrisy and protect their falsehood, they also became intolerant to the needs and views of "others." Religion is thus a MASK people wear for social security at a cost getting eluded (blindfolded) from experiencing spiritual security.

Spirituality is to be one with the Creator, and see all creation as a wonder. Spirituality produce do good feeling for all - sharing and expending oneself in service of others.

These realization began my Spiritual Growth; I withdrew from the 'masked, inauthentic, blindfolded mass' and became an individual, living life 'actually' instead of 'ritually' and became rational instead of 'traditional.'

I realised what inspired me to ponder, reflect and think is within me and governing me. God is not separate from me and thereby searching for God replaced the feeling of the Godliness within.

This existence we are experiencing is because of the breath of life force infused in us. We breathe; feel hunger, thirst and the need to rest by the design and Will of God.

We are integrated phenomena of creation. "I am part of a whole" - I make choices to stay peaceful while experiencing the journey of life and behaving as per passion inspired in me.

When l know what my mind choses to perceive gets manifested, the fear of scarcity is no longer there - for I attract what I need or want.

Life is all about learning and evolving rather than earning and hoarding.

Through pondering, my perception of "who I am" changed.

I realised, I am a spiritual growing organism experiencing a human existence.

In shape and form, I am identified differently as I progress through life. I am called a 'baby, a child, a teenager and an adult.'

Before being a 'baby,' I am housed in an extension of me called a 'woman,' and before that, a part of me was in a 'man.' Separated, I get a different identity.

I have no control over me; I need to breathe and survive. And therefore I am relentlessly seeking to consume what I see around as food and water.

I see others like me breathing and seeking food and water to survive.

Each has a Mind to distinguish between Right and Wrong and an Independent Free Will to choose.

Through choice, some remain as an 'Individual' drawing energy from the Source (the spiritual feel within). Some reject and believe in 'what one sees outside as matter.'

Those who reject the 'feel within,' adopt 'roles' to get and manage their needs.

Such form groups to become enemy of each other.

They divide and bound themselves as religions, nations, rules, policies, rituals and systems to ultimately self destroy.

And yet individually in each, there is a heart that seeks to integrate with the other.

In each there's a sense that seeks beauty in the surroundings.

Each in a body form is a physical manifestation of life force that seeks to multiply itself - the male part seeking to join with female part.

Each is me in different reflections, 'me' coming back to me. My own choice is creating me and is experiencing the human existence.

In conclusion, it is my choice to stay inspired as an individual 'adhering to feel within' that elevates me in Wellness and Wisdom leading me to an ever evolving destiny of the universal force called Creator.

Copyright 2020 - ZVM World [Saify Saraiya]